that you are what you are, doing the things that you're doing or, didn't think that you would be doing like 10 years ago?
10 years is a lengthy time.
10 years ago, at a reasonably impressionable age of 12, I was just dutifully adhering to what my parents asked of me; studies. While competing in the rat race of scoring good results and trying to play in what a childhood would be like, who would have thought of what the future might hold.
Together with some of my close-knit primary school friends, we see a major change in these recent 10 years. Each of us ended in different secondary schools and thus, different exposures. Be it friends, leadership opportunities, CCAs, or also in academic issues, we all have learnt things, which have change and mature our processes of thoughts.
Each of us has different beliefs. different approach to things and different interests. What happened to the innocent childhood, 10 years ago, in which we are a carefree.
It's both a wonder and interest to learn what each of us are doing right now; of what we had become since primary school.
It does give me certain delights to see what I am today now. Seriously, who would have thought the quiet boy in class whom, cries like first half of his primary 1 school year, is a person as he is now today; I do see myself as a leader sort, I love to do facilitating which enables the younger ones to learn, I can do reasonably OK though I always mug last min, no excuse for my laziness. I can play a guitar! I never knew that I would be able to play a guitar, perform in front of people and be spending so much time in singing. What happen to that quiet little boy? Haha!
In my defense, I cried every time my mum left me in school, was because of a terrible nightmare; my family was trapped within and the house was in fire and I was just standing beneath my block, hearing screams. Wasn't a nice dream that a 7yrs old kid should be having.
Anyway, in my growing years, I felt that I've accomplished things while enjoying it and as well as, having done some stupid things. Ha! Stupid things, you definitely need them in your growth. There are things that will leave you in guilt. Of course, I definitely learnt from my mistakes. Thing went wrong in a moment of spur. You know, raging hormones. Haha!
Well, in certain ways, aging is definitely a sweet process.
22 now, and reflecting upon my past definitely brings a grin across my face. Youth was such a wonderful and carefree period. I have reached a milestone in my life where, things wouldn't be as splendidly liberating as it used to be.
In my next 10 years, a lot of things are gonna happen. In a quick glance, I need to work, I need to study, hope to find the right girl and get married, as finding a partner after my 30s, makes me less appealing; at least that's how I think. Ideally, I hope my marriage would be in this 10 years. Sounds like an awful lot of things to do and money to make ya? In my next 10 years, I would reckon it to be a little bit more bitter.
Seemed like I'm lagging behind in this race. I have friends around me that are considering marriage, looking for apartments, pursuing a higher education and doing many more accomplished matters. All my friends have geared themselves for this 2nd stage of life. And in this preparation, objectives and thinking changed. And here on, we will witness another phase and growing process in life.
More matured thinking, you know action and consequences kind, goals, beliefs and views. Compare it with just a little back in time, say when you're 18 and ask yourself, how much have you changed?
In conclusion, I think aging is a sweet process. It brings about the colors in your life; something you can reflect and relate to people about. It is your own story that you have written so far and still writing. Yes, in the next 10 years, life is gonna be a bit more bitter, maybe the bittersweet kind when you are going through it but I think that in this period, I think it's the best fulfilment time; it is the time where you pursue your dreams, the time where you will better define you who are. Distressing as it may be, I think that when we reflect back, the rewards are huge.
So to all my friends, let's see where this next 10 years will bring us to!
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Created at 6:54 PM
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| Wednesday, April 29, 2009
I haven visited my blog since my reply to my cuz at the start of April.
It's kinda heartening to see messages in my tagboard.
While I have no personal vendetta against the people who tagged, I'm writing this post as a response.
Firstly, thanks for the part about everyone thinks I'm nice the first time. With regards to time passing, I don't see myself losing contact with my close friends I have around me. Also, it's alright. You can remain forgotten and anonymous. If I have forgotten about you all these years, I don't see why I have to take the trouble of finding you who you are. Why can't it be vice versa? I mean, wow, you can locate me and stuff...doesn't hurt to say hi right?
Glad that you found out why the girls left me. I found out this few recent years too. Though it's kinda disheartening but hey, at least I got the truth.
Whoever came up with the perfect being notion? I definitely did not. I have my flaws and I know them. Also, these flaws may have presented themselves in my r/s or my friendship and I tried coping with it, my friends tried coping with it and my ex-es tried coping with it too. Hypocritical is a thin line that people may step beyond in their doings period. If my pace makes you repulsive, just stay away dude. I'm not having any personal opinions against you, just giving you advices.
Surprised that you know about the Wu E Bo stuff that I do. Hmm, while doing all Wu E Bo stuff, it kinda fulfills my need of serving back to my community. It's like a personal satisfactory issue. Besides, it's a positive thing which I don't see the need why I would need to reduce on it. Beats loitering around the void deck right? I always try to juggle time between my friends, family and gf ( if i have one), as well as the personal stuff that I do. I never blame gf for taking up time. But the question that I pose was more like a thought, which you have reflected upon, I presume.
When I had the love, I was undeniably happy and take my advice about nice guys, if you're a bro, girls will leave you for that. Not that you have to be a total asshole and un-gentleman, but it's the little harmless bastard things that you do once in awhile that keeps them. Trust me, it's learnt from life experience.
Deserving nice girl? Whoa, what do you treat girls as? Prize? They don't just come deservingly. I reckon you have to work your way off just to have them gaze in your way. Everyone knows the effort guys gotta put in to woo girls. But hey you know what, I'm gonna just be myself and do my own stuff. Deserving nice girl or not ain't my priorities now. If fate brings her around, cool. If not, I can live with it.
Anyway, people all come and go. There are those who find virtues in me and stayed and we walk together in pace. There are those whom with good intentions, have our paths crosses; we walked together and we parted serperate ways. Maybe you belong to this category. Same with the girl issue, we had it going together but they think I ain't the right guy, so they went on, and though it was hard but hey, I crawled on, preservered, and I'm back on track.
I guess that's Life? Well, you're always free to prove me wrong.
Finally, it's alright. There's nothing harsh about your statements. I'm glad you take a good whole 30mins to reply my post. Shows you did think alot. And in appreciation of your effort, your points are most commendable and after giving some thoughts to them, you've affirmed a decision that I've made couple of months ago and now, I embrace them more.
PS: JJ's is doing real fine by the way. I'll pass your blessings to him.
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Created at 1:56 PM
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| Sunday, February 15, 2009
Wow, just saw that my last post was on Nov 22. And it's Feb 15 now. Probably the longest period I haven blog in this blog's history.
I guess I have to say a lot of things happen in between, which also kinda constitute to me not blogging; haven the time to.
Perhaps during this period, I've come to understand myself better. Particularly to heart affairs.
I wonder if r/s make one lose time with family and friends. The things that you normally do with them and cut short or perhaps you never have the time to even do the stuff that you would normally do together with them. Is such a relationship alright? Or it is correct to be cut short of those things since you've committed yourself into your opposite already. When demands have to be met, it becomes exhausting to try juggling everything together. And in such scenarios, I'd chose to give it up to return to my old times.
I couldn't cope. I can't commit. Not at this point of time to devote myself totally for a person.
Coming to the age where I am, I've come to realize a lot on kinship, especially during the relationship period whereby how much I would miss them. When I went out in the day, my parents and siblings would all be out of the house and by the time I return, which is really late; they're all sleeping. Totally didn't help with family bonding. And in a couple of years down the road, everyone would be going on their own way. Overseas for working, studies, or to be soon committed in the own area of work. If you don't wanna spend time together with them now, how long more do you think you would have the opportunity to?
I guess that same applies to your friends, everyone would be going about to do their own things. Girlfriends particularly, would take up a lot of their time. You wouldn't see them as much as you would. Lesser the crapping and lesser the fun. If you would to think in the long run, that would seem rather scary wouldn't it? To be having all of that and be slowly losing them.
Well I think that's one of the things I've come to know.
Next, I think I ain't cut out to be a boyfriend. Haha, I ain't no boyfriend material. I can't do all the funny acts to suit twisted thinkings. I am the way I am. And I've failed in my past relationships for being too nice; no more element of surprise for the other party anymore. No "kick". In this time of age, I've come to understand that being too nice would be a flaw.
Who would want a nice boyfriend? You know that he's gonna be there always. You know that if you'd asked the littlest of things and he's gonna say yes all the time. You'd expect every possible outcome of anything cause he would adhere to you without question. You know that he would only say No when you're dealing with generic things and he's gonna say no because it's "lawfully" so. Then there are times when you wanna test how much he wants you, you know in that cheeky fun kinda way, so you mentioned something about you Ex-s, hoping to see tinge of green but hey, he's totally not affected and he says because he understands and trusts you. And you'll be going "awwww, the hell, why he like that? No fun at all."
Ya, who likes a boyfriend like THAT? Boring relationship siah.
So there you have it, I'm no boyfriend material. I think I am a better friend to the world. As friends out there would know, I may not be the bestest kind of friend around but at least, I am the better lot.
I guess it's alright to be alone doing my own things, hanging out with my friends and stuff. I had yearn a lot to be in a relationship in the past but coming to know more about myself, makes me realize about my shortcomings. I do smile for friends with great relationship. They are happy and they can handle it. I guess it's worth the respect for subconsciously doing the acts to suit twisted needs.
Now, enlightened that I don't possess it, I'd best not to play in this game.
Friends always question me, "You're a nice guy. How come you don't have a gf?" In the past, I never had an answer to that question. I always shrugged my shoulders and shake my head.
Now, I know how to answer them. With a smile, I would say, "Just let the nice guy be friends with the world."
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Created at 12:29 PM
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| Saturday, November 22, 2008
Well, I'm not feeling really up to blogging but I have nothing to do here in camp.
Had chatted tons of things with my friends, played games till I'm bored, played guitar till my hands are kinda cramp...
Hopefully my fingers won't get cramped from typing soon. I need something to do to pass time.
I realized that I'm always going through the two year trend but ya, I'm attached now...when I least expected it.
There was nothing much, I didn't really prepare anything, I didn't go through the wooing process (thank god cuz I haven the faintest idea how to) and everything just kinda fell into place.
She's my third girl and yeah, the 3rd time as well for the way I get to be with a girl... 1. we talk 2. got hit on with the topics 3. we got together.
Simple processes which didn't involve the she likes me, she likes me not, cumbersome notions these are.
I love it when everything falls into place.
It's like you don't have to find a reason to like the girl. I prefer to like someone having no reasons at all as to why you like him/her. I think it's superficial to be able to list the reasons to like someone.
I'm a simple person; when you like someone, you just like him/her for who she is and her very being. Simplicity is beauty.
Ok, it's 1pm on 24 Nov now. I tried to blog this post last Saturday. Apparently, yeah as you can tell now, the consistency isn't really there.
I knew I had something to type on Sat but I had totally forgotten what I wanted to share with everyone after 2 days.
Oh boy....
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Created at 2:50 PM
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| Saturday, November 01, 2008
Arlow.
Mr. A is back to blog.
I think I'm really a morning person. It's like naturally I will begin doing something in the morning than just idle around; things that I would normally be kinda lazy to do. Haha!!
Discipline, discipline...
I guess it's the serenity of the morning ambiance and plus today, it's a cool weather; the kind that you just wanna "nua" at home the whole day.
But for such, I usually have the fetish of wanting to snuggle at some nice comfy sofas at some Starbucks, positioned by a full glass window, with a nice warm espresso and a good book in my hands. Having the rain trickling down the window pane, ear stuffed with nice songs and arms around my gf while she cuddles within my embrace, trying to get back some morning beauty sleep.
Blissful aint it?!
Ok back to reality...
1. I'm single; what nonsense of arms around gf when I don't even have one?
2. Face it, I'm at home typing and staring at some screen, depicting my life. Instead of being anywhere near Starbucks.
3. It's like it has been churning it for awhile but there isn't any rain yet to begin with.
So yeah, so much for dreams and fetishes of mine.
I guess this year is kinda.....I can't find another better word to use so, I will stick with "Happening" tentatively.
Yep, many many things happened. Especially in the later half of the year.
More than half of our gang got attached, which is good. Course seriously, I couldn't recall when was the last time it happened.
Well done to Kyaw, Pok and Lee.
Greetings to Winnie, Runxi and Kaixin.
Not that we are a very fun gang but I like to say at the very least, we are a decent one. Hahaha.
So, to all the twisted beings out there who like, want a "bad" bf and only settling for a nice guy when they are thinking of marriage and all.
Aww.....3 nice guys down...so suck it up~
But hey! My vouch for the last guy, him being the extreme nicest among us. Please go pick him before he gets picked and you go sulking and bitching for the rest of your life.
I guess I did mentioned previously that this year would be my greatest count for clubbing. Yeah, I was pretty surprised myself. But I gotta admit though, socializing prevails there. I met some good old friends whom I thought I would never see them again. Then again, haha! There they are.
Pretty interesting that our gang is hanging out with Shini's gang. Purely friends and coincidentally it's like 5 vs 5. Then there's yaofeng of course. Haha, fancy that. It's like in the past, we all never have really mingled together but now, we gel-ed together quite nicely.
I embrace that. It's nice.
OH, just remembered. To those who love to sing, there's this new game my good O weichong who introduced it to me,
www.meetoto.com
Check it out. It's a game on singing. And I meet alot of nice people there. Quite fun really!
(For the records, I so love singing.)
Just yesterday, I guess it's the first time that I shopped without much hestitation. Of course, a lot of swipping and signing took place but I enjoyed it. Love my new wears. Haha. Kinda understand a bit why people like to shop now.
Hmm, duty is starting soon next week. It is gonna be darn mundane but hey, it's definintely a great way to start saving again....
I've spent way too much this month...
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Created at 9:46 AM
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| Sunday, October 19, 2008
Just when I say that I am getting regular with my updates, I kinda stopped there didn't I?
Alright, there is a reason ok? There is always a reason to things.
For the past one month or so, I went on Military Driving Course for Class 3 & 4. Kinda cool huh? That is to say that now, after passing TP, I am able to drive Military vehicle, primarily now, Rover and Tonner. Couple of more vehicles will be introduced when I return back to unit.
Of course, the more you know, the more responsibility; facts of life...
Anyway, for the period, I guessed a lot has happened. Oh, I realised I never state the reason as to why I was not able to blog during the period.
The Course is a 5 and half days per week. By the time I return home, there is not much time to do anything therefore, blogging was not much of an available option then.
Right, so during the period, not that it is healthy physically but it is kinda socially healthy? Haha!
Celebrated Siyan's birthday as a surprise at his place. Which ended up knowing that some guai guai girls are actually havoc clubbers and we all kinda end up being a lil regular at Dbl O. I guess the greatest count of clubbing in my life would probably be this year...as of now. Haha!
Hmm, with that being said, there are lots of photos taking during the period but am kinda lazy to upload them now. Maybe next time... Hopefully I am still able to update regularly of my life now that course has ended...
I hope. Lol!
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Created at 11:24 AM
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| Monday, July 28, 2008
Looks like I'm getting regular on my updates... Haha, wonder how long this will last.
Maybe when my cash all burns out and there's not more outing for awhile, yeah guess that's probable.
It was definitely a great weekend. Had tons of fun and meeting up with people.
The very next day after my book out, went out with my Byrano (Bryandt) dude from camp. It's a much simple trip but I quite enjoyed it as the two of us shared quite a few deals in common.
We went to book our BTT, buddha bless us =P on the day of our exams. Then we went town searching for our each individual's god sister's bday present. Walked the whole of orchard to PS, of course settling for something along the way. Haha!
My dude here so dotes on his gf...half of or more than half of his stuff are bought for his gf....cuz she likes them or he thinks she will like it. Plus you could see the attentiveness of his face, like it suddenly lit up when I intro some nice dining places where he can bring his gf to. It's darn sweet of him. His gf definitely found a great catch.
Let me remind readers that "two of us shared quite a few deals in common". Haha! Ok la, not selling myself, those who know me will know la~
Well, anyway, we split after, him going to meet his gf after work (did i mention he woke up in the morning at 7am just to see his gf to work), and me, to meet my poly buddies.
Too bad Auntie Tay can't make it... Well, we settled for steamboat buffet at Bugis. The food's so so la. But the fun lies with hearing the same old poly crap all over again. Haha!
Bernard (K9 Trainer, something that I really wanted to get in) and MC BAY, sea soldier
Butter as we all know and Sujun, having her life in Material Sci in Uni
Yepz, left Auntie Tay...
The next day, yes I went out again...it was a rainy during the day time. So wanted to go to Starbucks and chill. Due to some "miscommunication", I went down to meet Jia jing...cuz I was kinda bored to stay at home and she had initially asked if I wanna meet her after she's done with her interview...why not? I WAS bored.
Here comes the part to why I think it was a miscommunication, when I reach orchard and upon giving her a call, she asked actually what I came down to orchard for ah? And what We're gonna do? Wow, what a Stunner. Lol!
But alright la, we ended up walking around and chat a bit. Math Girl is still doing well, and pretty darn well in her Math...AD lehz.
Time went by pretty fast, and it was time to go down to meet da Old Gang for "The Dark Knight"! I caught this display along the streets. I thought it was pretty interesting.
Haha! Fancy that...Though I was never good with arts, I think I do know how to appreciate them. I don't know why.
Argh..suffered from a bad stomache for that night till Sat...close to having food poisoning cept Fever didn't come.
So Sat, I just stayed around the neightbourhood lo. Play Bball (surprisingly) with Lee and Ngoh. And there was nothing much after. Ngoh is sure a mahjong freak.
I spent Sunday at home during the day...caught some movie with my siblings at home. "Wedding Daze" It was Darn funny. Please go and catch it if not, come over =D
Met my TinyBoxers! Went to K, darn fun. New friends met, tribute to Collin and Ricky. Both very cool dudes. Ricky for writing a song that went into Des' album and Collin for being one of the wackiest guy I ever met.
Speaking of Des' Album, it's worth buying people. Go help support support.
Desiree Tan, she's My'sia SuperStar Top Female, very shi li pai. And she's a very nice person. Haha!
My first autographed Album...so cool!
Army boy there is such a killer..haha! But I thank her all the same!!
Can't upload my TinyBoxers yet...haven received the photos...So gotta wait.
Ah yes, to her. Though I know you never come to my blog, but I just wanna say, You will never be alone.
There's always this guy just hiding in the dark, making sure you're ok. If you want him, all you gotta do is to just reach out, and you'll find him...
Something funny just happened...The esso guy just came to just our gas cylinder and yes being a watchdog, Tifa does her job...so for awhile, I had to keep her in my room first.
When the man left, I let her out. The first thing she did was to surveyed the kitchen all the way to the bathroom door, in a hasty manner, keeping a low growl....then we went to my mum's room and check, and finally back to the living room and she was satisfied only after.
I kept telling her the man has left. Haha!
Love her so much!
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Created at 3:17 PM
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Profile
Name: Alvin Chew Age: 20
Your typical Guy in the Neighborhood. Loves his Family, Friends and his dear dog. Still Single and Available. Lol
